Interview with another Demon Hunter

He’s blurry, he’s tinted, and he likes to layer things! Given the recent rash of demon attacks in Manhattan and its surrounding boroughs, YA Confidential thought we’d sit down for a talk with someone who’s got an inside line on the current situation. Meet Theo Black: he’s been part of an elite cadre of demon hunters, the Nephilim, we thought we’d sit down with him to get the insider’s perspective.

YAC: So, New York is full of demons, is that it?
TB: I don't know what you are talking about. There are no Demons. There never were Demons. Everything is just fine. Don't panic.

YAC: But you kill them — demons, I mean — is that right?
TB: No, no, no. Yes it is true that from time to time I run around the city wearing leather armor and swing around a glowing whip at black shapes in alley ways. This is not to say I'm fighting demons. It may look like maybe I'm fighting something that one might assume is a demon but really I'm just playing around. Also the black goo that sometimes ends up on my armor is really pudding. Don't ask.

YAC; And how to you generally do that?
TB: The playing around thing or the pudding? The playing around thing is just me messing around with a fog machine, a sound system and a theatrical glowing whip that uses fiber optic cables to make it glow. I said before that I did not want to talk about the pudding.

YAC: But when you fight the demons, you’re shirtless, right?
TB: When I do what I do, I wear specially treated leather armor. I also never said I was fighting demons. If someone were to fight demons it would be really really stupid to do it shirtless. What Boris Vallejo paints is fantasy. People don't actually go into battle like that.

YAC: Jace is shirtless on the cover of the book. I thought maybe the demon hunters did a lot of things shirtless.
TB: Jace was posing for the illustrator. Nothing more. I have only seen him go into combat shirtless, once while he was really drunk. He forgot his weapon and had to use a trash can lid and a stale French baguette. Some of those things are harder than you might think.

YAC: Did Jace kill the Demon with the French baguette?
TB: I never said Jace was fighting a demon. He stunned his target with the baguette but made the final blow with the trash can lid. I helped a lot by throwing dented cans of expired pie mix at the attacker.

YAC: Where were you when it happened?
TB: In the ShopRite dumpster near the Manhattan bridge.

YAC: Why were you there?
TB: We were bringing our buddy Ravus some groceries and he gave us some strange brown goo that he said would help us with our work. It smelled like ranch dressing and we accidentally used it on our salads in the parking lot. Eventually we ended up having a food fight in the dumpster and unfortunately we were not alone in there.

YAC: I see. So if you were not fighting a demon in the dumpster with expired pie mix and trash can lids, what were you fighting?
TB: There are many people on earth that look different than most of us and all to often we forget that they are people too. These people are very special. The person that Jace and I had a conflict with in the ShopRite dumpster was one of these special people.

YAC: What did this special person look like?
TB: Well, he had a human face but his body was very much like a rock scorpion.

YAC: So you don't think you two fought a demon?
TB: Jace does but I don't like to label people. I don't think it is very nice.

YAC: How did you know that this special person was a he?
TB: He had a larger pectines. You can tell by looking just behind the fourth set of legs. Plain as day.

YAC: Well, thank you very much for your time. That concludes another interview by YA Confidential.
TB: Thank you.